MENTAL POVERTY – IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH US BLACK PEOPLE!!!

This post is off what this blog is about, but it is something that was on my mind.

Being a black man, my inspiration & writings are mostly directed to black people, as you may have notice. Now, I want to ask black people out there the following questions:
Who got the idea for flight? It was Wilbur & Orville Wright. Who got the idea for the telephone? It was Alexander Graham Bell. Who got the idea for electricity? It was Thomas Edison. Who got the idea for personal compute

rs? It was Jobs, Wozniak & Gates. It was Newton who discovered the law of gravity because millions saw the apple fall, but he was the one who asked: ‘WHY’? It is Einstein who is known as the smart guy & who developed a whole theory about it. I could go on… They were all white. It was a white man who first landed on the moon.
Now, please tell me of black people…. What did we discover, what did we invent, what did we do that makes significant contributions to society? Or are we not capable? What is wrong with us???
I think there is a lot of mental poverty with the black man. They say knowledge is power. But is it really? I beg to disagree. They say not everybody who studied made it & not everybody who made it studied!!! Many have knowledge, but do they have power? I see many with knowledge that is going to waste & not being used to its full potential. A professor lecturing in the field of science at a University for instance has all that knowledge, but what does he do? He teaches… shouldn’t he be out there, inventing, creating? But instead he chose to teach… Knowledge becomes power only when used to its full potential. Now when it comes to black people, looking at our past many were disadvantaged, with many struggling to make ends meet, & not many could study but that is all changing now, yet things are changing too slow for my liking. There is a stereotype that says if you want to hide anything from a black man, put it in books because black people don’t read. Now I am not one to believe much of stereotypes, but it is a sad fact that above-mentioned one holds much truth. For if it were not, our communities would not be in the state it is today. Experts refer to black people as mankind’s Bottom Billion, who can only come out of the black hole they have dug for themselves through intervention by the rest of the world. It saddens me to see resources not benefiting our people. What I see happening is a great majority face hunger, homelessness & endemic and growing poverty with massive & growing inequality. We are so rich yet so poor. Our communities should be a hive of economic activity & growth driven by the logic & knowledge of its own people. This leaves me with this one question: What is wrong with us? I ask again, what is wrong with us??? What is wrong with our reasoning & logic? A sad but true fact is we bear the price of our own shortsightedness.
It all started when the white man (missionaries) came to Africa with a bible in his hand. They said, let us pray, we closed our eyes & prayed.
When we opened them, we had the bible in our hand & they had the land. The continent was then overwhelmed spiritually & intellectually by European imperialism, resulting in Black people abandoning their beliefs, and turning to religions, which were marginalized, vulgarized & vilified by missionaries. Then came the Slave Trade & a century of Apartheid where the black (race) man was made to believe he is inferior & not capable and so the brain drain continued. It is a sad but true fact that Africa’s past has a lot to do with the current mentality & thinking of the black man. Much of our thinking needs to change!
We bear the price of our own shortsightedness. There is a growing dependence on foreign patronage & solutions initiated from outside the continent. If you follow economic news you might be aware that black communities are unable to service their debts so they become dependent on gifts or donations from the governments, or from whoever wants to exploit our communities and us. High indebtedness & aid dependence thus become two sides of the same coin – economic stagnation. Many projects in our communities have been development disasters. Why, because the plans were sometimes ill thought out & poorly conceived. But more importantly the money didn’t go into development projects & programs they were intended for by donors. Money that often goes missing through corrupt schemes, which brings me to Greed… Greed is a byproduct of poverty. Now a sad fact is there are many by-products of poverty with black people like corruption. The HIV/Aids pandemic for instance is also fed by poverty. How do we stop this greed, corruption & all the by-products of poverty? They say give a man a fish & u feed him for a day, teach a man to fish & you feed him for life.
To all thinking people & anybody with a social conscience, if you have knowledge about something that might be of benefit to a fellow black man, share it. You have the power to change things but for that you need a new type of social thinking. Let the winds of change sweep across our community.

He Will Never Be Into You

Women too often overlook the red flags, the signs of troubles ahead and the hints that this guy’s not the one. You let things slide because you want so badly to be pleasantly surprised. But all this ever gets you is even more disappointment in the end not only in the men you date, but also in yourselves for not going with your gut. After reading this list below, you’re held accountable for your own heartbreaks. If you ignored these signs and charged on, there was nobody that could save you but yourself.

“You can come if you want to”

You “know” that if the guy is just exposed to you enough, he’ll fall for you. So you’re taking any chance you can to hang out with him. Even when his invite consists of the words, “You can come…if you want.” A guy that truly wants you there will say, “I’d LOVE for you to come.” A man that says it the former way has no intention of paying attention to you at the party/bar/beach/whatever. A man that wants you there lets you know that you will enhancethe experience for him. That you would be doing him the favor by attending with him. But if he says, “You can come if you want…” he felt obligated to invite you and you’ll only look desperate for going. It’s a lose, lose.

He says he’s “not a cuddler”

Anybody’s a cuddler when they truly like someone. It’s a part of how the human body functions. All those feel good chemicals that surge up when we’re around someone we truly like compel us to want to physically connect. If a guy says he’s not a cuddler he’s either A) Not into you or B) Selfish, and actually not a cuddler but too self absorbed to think, “Hm. Maybe it would make her happy if I cuddled her.”

He “forgets” to text

You don’t struggle to remember the person you’re into. You struggle to forget them! You have to force yourself to put them out of your mind while you’re working or hanging out with friends. A text can be sent sitting at a redlight (don’t tell the cops we said that!), standing in an elevator, waiting in line at the grocery store. You know this list is endless because you’ve found all of those times to text a guy you’re into. And when you’re into a guy, you remember to make use of those times. You don’t want to be with someone that you’re forgettable to.

He’s too busy

Again, like the lyrics at the beginning of my post, everybody wants love in their life. It’s a part of the pyramid of sociological needs that humans require to survive! If a guy is into you, he’ll drive to you on his lunch break. He’ll come over when he gets off work, even if it’s super late. He’ll line your calendar and his up for the next month and circle the dates when he can see you. And you shouldn’t be wasting your time with somebody who would do any less.

You can’t leave a toothbrush

Neat freaks are the exception (but they’re a pain to date.) If a man is into you, he’ll love the little signs of yourself you leave behind like mascara , a sweater, a hair tie A man that doesn’t let you keep so much as a toothbrush at his place is either A) Seeing other people and doesn’t want them to see that, B) Never learned the basic principles of sharing and compromising or C) Not into you.

He’s private about his computer or phone

Everybody has a right to privacy but only the people up to something invoke it. If your guy shuts his computer screen, x’s out all the tabs, or turns his phone over every time you walk in the room; odds are he is flirting with another girl. If it happens once or twice, let it slide. It may be a coincidence. But if it’s a regular occurrence, something is up.

He’s “not a planner”

He won’t give you an answer about something  you’re inviting him too and he only ever asks you out at the last minute. He says he’s just “not a planner.” What he really  is an opportunist that wants to make sure there isn’t a different girl he’d rather hang out with that night, before resigning to seeing you. I’m sorry, but it’s true because again, when a man falls he falls and he will ask you sometimes weeks in advance to do something just to make sure he reserves that slot of time with you

He cares about the dumb things

He’s picky about where you eat, what movie you see, what bar you go to, how cold it is in your apartment. He needs everything to be perfect. But, when you’re truly into somebody, the joy of their company overshadows much else. You don’t care where you eat so long as you’re eating with that person. If a man is particular about all the superfluous things, that means you’re not the main attraction for him. You’re just a little added bonus. A sidepiece with his perfect dinner and movie.

Everything is on his terms

He has to get up early, so you go to his place. He wants to meet up with his friends at a bar, so you have to go with him if you want to see him. Basically, if you want to see him, you have to make things as easy as possible for him. If this guy really liked you and/or wasn’t completely narcissistic, he would go out of his way to make things easy for you. Relationships should be give and take. You’re not going to charm a selfish guy into being giving. If anything, you’ll only spoil him by being at his beck  and call and things will never change.

He doesn’t want to meet your friends

If a man doesn’t want to meet your friends, family, co-workers or pretty much anybody but you, he just wants to hook up and he only wants to put in the minimal effort necessary. Why should he impress your friends when the only place he plans on seeing you is the bedroom? Your friends won’t be there. It’s a simple as this: if a man is into you, he wants to know you and that includes your hobbies, where you like to hang out, your passions and the people in your life.

His parents were in town and you had no idea

The matter about meeting your friends is the same in reverse. If a man is into you he wants to show off his friends and   to you. He wants to show you off to them. He wants to implicate you into his life. Also, he wants to know what his friends  and family think about you! Anybody who is falling for someone wants their friend’s and family’s notes on that person (well, at least the friends). But if they just want to keep it casual, they don’t care what their friends and family think of you or visa versa.

He’s not a good listener

It’s true that a lot of men suffer from ADHD, and after dating for a while you’d notice their listening skills waver. But even a guy with the worst ADHD, when he is courting a girl he is really into, will double up on his medication and make sure to pay attention to you! If you’re out with a guy that keeps looking around while you’re talking, or answering you with, “Huh? Sorry. I’m kind of spacey” he’s just waiting to sleep with you.

He pushes for sex

If a man plans on being with you for a while, what’s the rush on sex? Granted, if you make a man wait months…well, men have needs and it’s understandable if he gets antsy. However, if a man is pressuring you to have sex within the first few dates, that’s because, sex is all he wants from you. He may not even realize that himself yet but, a man who is into you realizes very well that no good comes from pushing for sex.

He kisses you rough

Having a real crush on a girl brings out the tender side in any guy, and that means tender kisses. If a man gets really aggressive with his kisses, pushing you against walls and shoving his tongue down your throat or in your ear, that means that you make him horny. And that’s good, but you don’t want to only make a guy horny. A man who really likes your personality will calm down and give you a gentler kiss.

If He Loves You, He Will Show It

Some men don’t know how to say it, and some men have never said it to a woman who wasn’t blood related, but that doesn’t mean that a man doesn’t love you or isn’t passionately in love with you. Society conditions men to behave a certain way, that way being to withhold love while simultaneously demanding it. Because of this, some men aren’t always able to verbally express how they feel about you, but many show it in a number of other ways:

The Kisses

Be it the soft forehead peck or the passionate knee-knocking lip-lock, the way a man kisses you tells you a great deal about him and how he feels about you. You can be sure of his love by the way he embraces you each time he kisses you, and if he seems to anticipate each kiss that you two share.

He Misses You

No matter if it’s a few weeks apart or a few moments, he makes the effort to express to you that he misses you or that he needs you, through phone calls, messages, letters, status updates, tweets or by whatever means–that’s a proclamation of genuine affection.

He Tries To Change For You

Men, by far, are not perfect creatures, but when they are trying to improve in order to become better boyfriends, lovers or counterparts, then it’s usually love that drives those intentions. Examples of this is when he’ll agree to go dancing or do other new things that he’s never been open to trying before. Or better yet, trying to be more open to try things he doesn’t like to make you happy. Compromise is a beautiful and loving thing.

The Departures Are Something Out Of A Movie

Parting is always the hardest for lovers, but in that moment, a small gesture of love takes place as one of you walks away: if he glances back toward you as he walks away, or if he stands, gazing at you as you depart, then that is an indicator that he misses you already. That one extra glance or extra look should reassure you that he thinks that you’re special. The same can be said if he lingers, hesitant to leave.

He Gets Creative For You

Times are hard, so a creative hand is usually a ‘go-to’ for a man who isn’t vocal with his love (and isn’t balling money-wise). Poems, paintings, songs, sonnets, notes, letters, crafts, ceramics, posters, collages, skits or stories are only some of the possible things that your man may have created for you to show his interest in you is still impeccably strong. Creating projects takes time, energy and patience…just like relationships, so creativity is a strong sign of his love.

The Hugs Are Deep

When a man draws you in completely, chest-to-chest or head-to-chest, with his arms folded around you, cradling you like you’re something precious, you can feel that affection. It’s within reason to assume that he truly adores you; because men usually reserve that level of intimacy for women who they care deeply about.

Everyone Know Your Name

You two are hanging out together, watching movies…or doing whatever, and his phone rings. No matter who’s on the other end of the line, he announces to the person that’s he’s hanging out with you, stating your name and making it known that you’re an important part of his life. If everyone in his social circle, as well as his family, knows who you are or at least knows about you, then there’s no doubt that he talks about you quite a bit.

He’s A Good Sport, Even After Meeting Crazy Friends And Family

Meeting the friends and family of your significant other is always difficult, especially when you’re not sure how concrete your relationship is. But, if he’s willing to meet with your family and friends, and undergo being grilled and scrutinized by everyone who’s close to you, then you should realize that he wouldn’t do that for just anyone. Your man most likely loves you.

Small Grand Gestures

Again, times are hard, so not every grand gesture will involve being showered with chocolate, flowers and jewelry. But if your man does things like surprising you with evenings out, taking you to see your favorite play or movie, planning a picnic or an entire day’s activity, then you can be fairly confident that not only are you on his mind, but you’re in his heart.